Holding Space
In the spiritual community there is a tendency to throw around catchphrases that seem to linger and become platitudes. One of those is the term “Holding space”. It is often misunderstood on what that looks like. There are many.
Industry catchphrases:
- “Holding space”
- “For your Greater Good”
- “Divine Timing”
- “Soul Mate”
“Holding Space” seems just another term for “waiting” for someone.
Life is not benign. It is not bad. It is not good. Life is life. We grow, learn, fall, fail, cry…we break and then get put back together again over and over in cycles. It just is what it is and it serves no one to dish out platitudes.
Holding space came up in a conversation recently and I said I would still hold space for someone in their issue. My friend said, “Well, I’m NOT!” Which is FAIR! You don’t HAVE to!
but….
Let’s first understand the difference between holding space and “WAITING” for someone.
Holding space is not NOT planning an event because someone else was expected and desired to be there. Holding space is not deciding NOT to do things “until” someone is ready.
You should never (and I cannot say this enough!) NEVER hinge your life or desires on another person. We can INCLUDE them and HOPE for them but we should always plan for what is our greatest good. It makes us whole. When we are whole we have SOOOOoooooo much more to give!
Holding space looks like watching your baby go from crawling to walking. You watch and enjoy their attempts. This is something they have to figure out for themselves. You cannot help. You can only safely watch and encourage them as they explore safely. The carpet is soft. You are watching and will catch them. But THEY HAVE TO DO THE WORK! For themselves.
I learned this when on my spiritual path I found pearl after pearl of wisdom, skills and tools. I can preach from the mountaintop how valuable these skills are, yet it is only valuable if the tool is needed or the thought occurs to seek it.
When I use the term holding space it is both a spiritual energy and a skill I learned through MANY life success courses.
It takes time for awareness to sink in.
For the desire to stretch to take hold. It is THAT moment I wait for. I hold space for a person to do better. I EXPECT failure in first attempts and I watch for danger signs or pitfalls and keep my advice to myself until asked unless it is DANGEROUS to self or others. We are all on our own path. It is not my job to tell you what to do. You will ultimately tailor what I say to fit your particular needs anyway and the goal is for you to find your perfect center. That will look differently for each of us.
So…that boyfriend/gf husband/wife that’s fucking up?
Ditch that manipulation game and stop playing chess with your relationships. “If I do this it will get him to do that…”
They ARE capable. Stop enabling bad behavior.
We can Hold space for them to do BETTER and then DO YOU!
Let them catch up, let them see you shine. BE the example and just hold space that they can step into better. We are ALL capable.
Until you hold the line, no one will.
@karmaondeck When the drum calls….You ANSWER. ELK Heals generational trauma, the “hood” partnerships like sister “hood” brother, father, mother. It’s resonant energy that aligns same gender partnerships. Elk is also a representstion of MAJESTY , so working with elk ACTIVATES THE CROWN CHAKRA! Elk is also the TRUMPET. i am resonsting so deeply with Elk as the New Earth bells are ringing in my head. Majestic Elk! thank you for the journey #DRUM #CALL #medicine #sacred #spirit #sound #healer #elk #generation
Speak your peace (piece?) ONCE and stand by it.
-Karma